The Lotus Emerges: An Interview with the Victim Survivor Advocates

Did you know there is a flower that grows completely submerged in muddy waters?

The seeds of a lotus lay dormant in the winter and the flower only begins to grow in the summer with ample access to warmth and light. While this flower starts out its life as a small seed living in conditions full of adversity, it blooms into a beautiful flower that seems to defy gravity as it floats on the surface of water. Because of this resilience, the lotus flower is often associated as a symbol for domestic violence and sexual assault survivors.

When experiencing violence, abuse, and/or harm, it is common to feel alone or as if you are swimming through murky waters; it might feel impossible to see the way forward. In my recent interview with the Victim Survivor Advocacy program at the University of Utah, I learned that you do not have to navigate these waters alone. 

In this conversation, I sit down with Advocacy Resource Coordinator, Amaya Hoglund, to learn about the program and how the advocacy program supports survivors.

 

What is Victim Survivor Advocacy?

The Victim Survivor Advocacy program is a free service hosted by the Center for Campus Wellness that provides confidential support for University-affiliated people who have experienced violence, harm, and abuse. Their definition of violence, harm, and abuse is intentionally open for interpretation, allowing individuals to connect to care based on what they experienced as impactful or traumatic to their wellbeing.

The program also isn’t limited to experiences that have occurred when someone is a student or working on campus. Advocates are here to listen to students, faculty, and staff who have experienced harm, and can provide several supportive services to help someone take the next step on their journey to healing.

Hoglund describes the advocacy program as a “confidential touchpoint for students, [faculty, and staff]” where someone can begin to find those rays of sunlight even when it feels as if they are lost in the dark. The mission of the program is to “empower survivors to make informed decisions around healing and justice,” and they broadly offer assistance “in navigating any resource processes and or services that feel relevant and helpful” to survivors.

Through this process, clients receive personalized case management, connection to legal support, reporting processes, safety planning, and strategies for self-care. This program offers a holistic approach to wellness, tailoring services to the unique needs of its clients, recognizing that there is not a “one-size-fits-all” process to healing and justice.

Do survivors have to tell their story?

The advocates recognize that opening up can be hard, and we understand that talking about traumatic experiences isn't a part of everyone's healing journey.  Hoglund assures that when working with an advocate, the client always gets to decide how much or how little they wish to share.

This was a key point in my discussion with the program’s Resource Coordinator, who reiterated, “the advocates do not need to know what you’ve been through in order to support you. [Our] support is not conditional.”

Even if someone chooses to remain private about their experiences of violence, harm, or abuse, they are welcomed in this space, and the advocates encourage folks to reach out even if they don’t want to or even know how to explain their experiences. Regardless of what a client has endured, their feelings are valid, and the program is here to provide them with the support they deserve.

Here, you have the power to define your own story and envision your next steps with safety and holistic support:

“Our job is to never tell you whether or not you've experienced something. If you believe it falls into any category of violence, abuse, or harm, we are more than happy to support you.“ - Advocacy Resource Coordinator, Amaya Hoglund.

How can I be there for those who have experienced abuse, harm, and/or violence?

I asked Amaya about how she views the role of friends, family, and the community of survivors in the healing process. She shared that anyone can support survivors, and each of us can play a role after someone experiences violence abuse or harm.

Amaya recommended that when supporting others, presence is key. It is okay if we do not know what to do because often, being there with that person is enough.

She highlights that even when we feel unsure about the “how” in showing up for others,  it can be helpful to start by acknowledging we that we are not experts on someone else's story:

“There's something so connecting …[and] empathetic about admitting that we don't have all the answers; we don't [always] know what to say, [and] we don't always know what to do. But, we're still willing to just be present with the person, and stumble, and cry, and scream, and laugh…I think that's the most important part…witnessing. It's just walking with them…People just want to be walked with.”

When we let others know we are there for them, when we take the time to simply listen or sit with them, we are can be like the rays of sunshine that help the lotus flower emerge even when they feel lost and alone in the dark.

Amaya also shared that the VSA team offers a ninety-minute workshop called "Compassionate Responses" where community members can learn how to intentionally support people in their life who have experienced violence, abuse, or harm. Here, participants learn how:

• to reduce additional harm when someone discloses an experience of violence,
• refer to the Victim Survivor Advocates, reduce distress for the person disclosing,
• and practice in-the-moment self-regulation skills.
• Participants also discuss how to prioritize their wellbeing when supporting others and create a self-care plan to use following a disclosure.

Campus departments and student organizations are welcome to request the workshop so that their members can gain awareness and practical skills to respond in these key moments of need.

 

What is one thing students should know?

Like the lotus flower, it can be difficult for many survivors to imagine that it is possible to heal from violence, abuse, or harm. Living its life surrounded in darkness, drowning in water, it can seem unthinkable that a seed can survive the whole winter and bloom into a beautiful flower in the summer - and yet, it emerges.

Through my conversation with the Victim Survivor Advocates, I’ve learned that there are many ways to find healing and justice, and that connecting with an advocate can be the start of a new chapter where survivors get to write their own story.

If you are interested in connecting with an advocate, there are several ways to get started: you can directly request an appointment, confidentially email the team, or call them at 801-581-7776. 

At the end of the day, it is also okay if you do not feel comfortable reaching out for help yet; the Victim Survivor Advocates are here for you if or when you decide to connect. And that brings me to Amaya's final message,  "There is hope. And we are here for you every step of the way."